What is the difference between pity, empathy, and compassion?

By | 2019-02-08T19:50:11-08:00 February 26th, 2019|Categories: Compassion, Empahty, Psychological Wholeness|

Empathy is feeling with someone.  It is seeing another person’s pain and feeling from inside what that pain might be like.  Compassion is empathy in action; she feels empathy for another soul and then take-action to alleviate a part of their suffering.  Compassion is not giving away life and limb to “save” another person.  Compassion is healthy; it is not enmeshed in rescuing, enabling, or fixing others.  Compassion empowers the giver as well as the recipient.  Compassion does not stay in toxic or abusive relationships.  Compassion does not please another to avoid conflict or please another by neglecting her needs; that would be inauthentic and codependent. Compassion is circular, both self-compassion and compassion for others are essential pieces of the flow.  We must first have compassion for ourselves and set proper boundaries for appropriate self-care so that we may meet the world with an empathetic heart and act with compassion.  Empathy is not feeling sorry for another human being, that is pity.  Pity is judging another to be less fortunate than we are.  [...]

What is the difference between praise and encouragement? Why praise can be detrimental to our children and employees who work with us.

By | 2019-02-08T21:23:39-08:00 February 8th, 2019|Categories: Compassion, Psychological Wholeness|Tags: |

Praise is based on another’s performance and our approval of their performance.  When we praise a child or an employee, we are expressing our approval of their performance which after time may override their own potential to self-evaluate and often creates a dependence on others for validation and praise on future tasks or projects.  Praise is about perfection or doing it right; encouragement is about learning and growing from the experience.  Praised is “being good at” whereas encouragement is based on improvement after evidence of diligence or hard work.  Examples of praise: “Wow…great work,” “You’re so smart, you got an A,” “You have outshined everyone on the team.  Way to be an example,” “You hit two home runs, you’re the best.”  Examples of encouragement: “Wow…it’s evident how diligent you worked in the yard to clean up all those leaves.  Thank you, I feel grateful,” “You have been studying so hard the past two weeks.  How does it feel to work hard and see that you’ve earned an A?” “I see your commitment to [...]