What is self-esteem? What is self-esteem vs ego esteem? Can we have too much self-esteem? Does too much self-esteem make us too self-focused and involved?

By | 2019-05-30T20:39:00-07:00 March 26th, 2019|Categories: Compassion, Psychological Wholeness, Self-compassion|

Self-esteem is the relationship we have with ourselves.  It is an inner-state of acceptance and okness about who we are—no matter what may arise.  Self-esteem is closely tied to what we believe we are worth, regardless of how much money we make or how important we are from the world’s perspective—it is our inner value.  Self-esteem is what’s left after we strip away all the houses, cars, big screen TV’s, vacations, money, power, beauty, athletic ability or whatever else. The self-talk that happens in our minds after a hardship or failure is often telling of the shape of our self-esteem.  For example, if I fail to close a new deal at work a healthy self-esteem might say something like, “Wow that’s really disappointing.  What could I have done better?  What did I do well?  Did I spend enough time preparing?  Did I have the right information?  Would it have been more effective for me to bring in Jeremy who is an expert in this area?  What can I do next time to work [...]

10 ways to live with more compassion without changing your normal routine

By | 2019-05-29T18:22:41-07:00 March 12th, 2019|Categories: Compassion|

Make eye contact more often—Making eye contact lets others know we are paying attention to them, it tells them we care, and we are interested in what they have to say.  Do you best to slow down and make eye contact with strangers as you walk into the bank or grocery store, say hello or smile. Listen—When a loved one is speaking to us about a heart-felt situation it is an act of compassion to do nothing except listen.  Do your best to ignore the cell phone (texts and phone calls can wait).  Turn off the TV.  Do you best not to think about what chores need to be done or the dishes in the sink or the emails that need to be answered.  Simply be attentive.  Ask questions if you are not clear about how she feels so you really feel like you understand what’s going on with your partner’s emotional state and in turn she will most likely feel validated and heard creating more closeness—more intimacy. Live with curiosity—As you drive [...]