When do we know when we are acting with compassion or caught by giving too much?

By | 2019-02-08T21:46:47-08:00 April 23rd, 2019|Categories: Compassion, Empahty, Psychological Wholeness, Self-compassion|

The key to knowing we are acting with authentic compassion is that after we finish with our compassionate act, no matter how small, we feel energized, inspired, or fed from the inside.  Often authentic compassion feels like a spiritual experience.  For me, I feel energized and excited to the point where I immediately beginning looking for another meaningful encounter to experience.  Authentic compassion brings a reflective perspective to our own lives and often puts our problems and self-pity in check—it gets us out of our own way.  It doesn’t diminish our problems as if they do not exist, but it does give us some depth to see the grave challenges and difficulties that others face. When we give our time or energy out of obligation, guilt, or the need to please others we are often left feeling taxed, tired, or overwhelmed.  We must take care of ourselves by resting when we need rest, meditating when we need to meditate, exercise when we need exercise, or getting a massage when we need a massage.  [...]

Is anger wrong? If I am angry does that mean I lack empathy?

By | 2019-02-08T19:55:24-08:00 April 9th, 2019|Categories: Anger, Empahty|

Anger is not wrong, it’s a valid and healthy emotion.  Feeling anger is a normal part of being human.  The positive power of anger is often seen when we are propelled into action because we or someone we love is gravely wronged—righting wrongs by changing world views. What we do with our anger is what can cause harm or be toxic to both ourselves and those around us.  Our actions, resulting from our anger, or any emotional state, mirror our inner capacity.  Our actions reflect the state of our inner well-being; if we treat others cruelly because we are angry we are lacking empathy in this moment. Empathy does not mean we always say what we think the other person wants to hear—this is inauthentic.  Empathy does not mean we are soft or a push over.  Assertive speech or clear and direct communication is healthy and compassionate.  Empathy has to do with how we deliver the information that needs to be said.  Empathy is about ensuring that we have self-checks in place to [...]