What is Self-compassion?

By | 2019-05-29T18:11:29-08:00 May 28th, 2019|Categories: Compassion, Empahty, Love, Psychological Wholeness, self awareness, Self-compassion|Tags: , , , , |

Many of us have brutal self-talk when we do something less than perfect.  That inner voice can be very harsh, even downright mean.  Sometimes the shame demons, as Brené Brown calls them, are relentless as they pounce—from the inside—at the slightest misstep.  When the shame demons or the inner critic lines up the firing squad, self-compassion steps in, as if to says, “I’m here.  You’re ok.  You are safe.  You are loved.  We’ll make it through this together.” Self-compassion is recognizing you need a hug and being able to give that hug to yourself.  When we act with Self-compassion, we treat our inner workings as if we’re holding our two-year-old little self—gentle and loving.  Self-compassion is feeling empathy for our own pain and having gentle self-talk and willingness to relieve some of that suffering by accepting our own imperfect humanness with a loving embrace.  Self-compassion understands our humanity, there are times when we are awesome and times we’re not.  There are times we remember and times we don’t.  There are times when we [...]

Can Love Motivate Violence?

By | 2019-05-14T10:41:14-08:00 May 14th, 2019|Categories: Anger, Compassion, Effective Communications, Empahty, Love, Psychological Wholeness, Rage, Vengeance|Tags: , , , , |

Is it possible to feel such deep love for a human being or an animal, to the point that if they were harmed, we would wish to seek vengeance on the perpetrator?  The easy answer is yes.  The more complex answer is no.  Let me explain…on the surface it seems as though our love is propelling us to avenge our beloved who has been harmed but is it really love?  Chris Hedges writes, “The initial selflessness of war mirrors that of love, the chief emotion war destroys.  And this is what war often looks and feels like, at its inception: love” (War is a Force that Gives Us Meaning 159).  It feels like we are acting out of love because we are motivated by our need to protect those whom we love but the underlying emotion propelling us is fear—fear of losing our beloved, fear that our beloved with never be the same after this pain and trauma (it may resonate more clearly to use the word anger in place of fear).  If [...]