Do you intentionally feed your compassion instinct?

By | 2019-09-22T22:32:08-08:00 September 23rd, 2019|Categories: Compassion, Effective Communications, Empahty, Love, Peace, Psychological Wholeness, self awareness, Well-being|Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , |

One day this wise Native America chief took his grandson on a walk about.  He says to his grandson, “There is fight going on inside of me.  It is a terrible fight between two wolves.  One wolf is evil, full of anger, envy, hatred, rage, resentment, greed, and arrogance.  The other is good, full of joy, peace, love, hope, kindness, empathy, generosity, and compassion.  The same fight is going on inside of you and every other person.”  The grandson thought about this for a few minutes and asked, “Grandfather, which wolf wins?”  The chief replied thoughtfully, “The one you feed.”  What if we fed compassion more deliberately?  How would that change how we, as human beings, show up for each other?  It is clear where and how we feed our destructive nature; a few examples are through the violence on television, in movies, and video games, as well as believing that some humans are superior over others for any reason—race, sexual preference, gender, financial success to name a few.  When we believe we [...]

Five Hindrances to Acting with Compassion

By | 2019-07-02T08:35:13-08:00 July 2nd, 2019|Categories: Compassion, Effective Communications, Psychological Wholeness, self awareness, Self-compassion, Well-being|Tags: , , , , |

1. Pleasing or giving too much is a hindrance to compassion, it does not serve us or those we are in relationship with.  It does not serve the growth of our business or the resourcefulness’ of our team.  Pleasing, while it is done to avoid disharmony, is manipulation and inauthentic so in some ways, every time we please another at the expense of our authenticity, we are chipping away at our self-esteem.  Now, there will be times when it’s just easier to say you’ll take the Caesar salad even though you’d rather have the turkey sandwich and that’s no big deal.  It just doesn’t matter that much. But when communication is at stake or expressing an opinion where we have wisdom and insight, it is vital that we all learn to be okay with some degree of healthy discomfort, disagreement, or conflict.  When we are coming from a mindset of pleasing our motivation is to gain, appease, ensure others will like us, or to stay comfortable. Compassionate communication is never a form of [...]

Can Love Motivate Violence?

By | 2019-05-14T10:41:14-08:00 May 14th, 2019|Categories: Anger, Compassion, Effective Communications, Empahty, Love, Psychological Wholeness, Rage, Vengeance|Tags: , , , , |

Is it possible to feel such deep love for a human being or an animal, to the point that if they were harmed, we would wish to seek vengeance on the perpetrator?  The easy answer is yes.  The more complex answer is no.  Let me explain…on the surface it seems as though our love is propelling us to avenge our beloved who has been harmed but is it really love?  Chris Hedges writes, “The initial selflessness of war mirrors that of love, the chief emotion war destroys.  And this is what war often looks and feels like, at its inception: love” (War is a Force that Gives Us Meaning 159).  It feels like we are acting out of love because we are motivated by our need to protect those whom we love but the underlying emotion propelling us is fear—fear of losing our beloved, fear that our beloved with never be the same after this pain and trauma (it may resonate more clearly to use the word anger in place of fear).  If [...]