Five Hindrances to Acting with Compassion

By | 2019-07-02T08:35:13-07:00 July 2nd, 2019|Categories: Compassion, Effective Communications, Psychological Wholeness, self awareness, Self-compassion, Well-being|Tags: , , , , |

1. Pleasing or giving too much is a hindrance to compassion, it does not serve us or those we are in relationship with.  It does not serve the growth of our business or the resourcefulness’ of our team.  Pleasing, while it is done to avoid disharmony, is manipulation and inauthentic so in some ways, every time we please another at the expense of our authenticity, we are chipping away at our self-esteem.  Now, there will be times when it’s just easier to say you’ll take the Caesar salad even though you’d rather have the turkey sandwich and that’s no big deal.  It just doesn’t matter that much. But when communication is at stake or expressing an opinion where we have wisdom and insight, it is vital that we all learn to be okay with some degree of healthy discomfort, disagreement, or conflict.  When we are coming from a mindset of pleasing our motivation is to gain, appease, ensure others will like us, or to stay comfortable. Compassionate communication is never a form of [...]

Five Ways to Cultivate More Peace in our Lives

By | 2019-06-03T20:02:33-07:00 June 11th, 2019|Categories: Compassion, Empahty, Love, Peace, Psychological Wholeness, self awareness, Self-compassion, Well-being|Tags: , , , , , , |

1. Be a ware of your intake with Television, the news feeds our fear instinct and many prime-time shows are feeding violence and discord.  I am not saying never watch TV, just be aware of how much you watch, and which shows you choose.  Television is one source of food that we feed our psyche.  Suggestion:  Work on nourishing your mind with passion projects at least 2 nights a week instead of watching TV.2. 2. Practice mindfulness meditation.  Meditation is easy, you can’t do it wrong, there is nothing weird, hocus-pocus, or new age about it.  Mindfulness meditation is based in psychology and science, it is not a religious practice.  With mindfulness the goal is self-understanding.  In meditation we quiet the thinking mind so that we can see beneath the constant, unconscious chatter, that fills our minds.  We go to the gym to work out our bodies which helps us stay physically healthy.  Mindfulness is the gym for our brains.  Meditation helps our minds to stay healthy and it integrates all aspects of [...]

What is Self-compassion?

By | 2019-05-29T18:11:29-07:00 May 28th, 2019|Categories: Compassion, Empahty, Love, Psychological Wholeness, self awareness, Self-compassion|Tags: , , , , |

Many of us have brutal self-talk when we do something less than perfect.  That inner voice can be very harsh, even downright mean.  Sometimes the shame demons, as Brené Brown calls them, are relentless as they pounce—from the inside—at the slightest misstep.  When the shame demons or the inner critic lines up the firing squad, self-compassion steps in, as if to says, “I’m here.  You’re ok.  You are safe.  You are loved.  We’ll make it through this together.” Self-compassion is recognizing you need a hug and being able to give that hug to yourself.  When we act with Self-compassion, we treat our inner workings as if we’re holding our two-year-old little self—gentle and loving.  Self-compassion is feeling empathy for our own pain and having gentle self-talk and willingness to relieve some of that suffering by accepting our own imperfect humanness with a loving embrace.  Self-compassion understands our humanity, there are times when we are awesome and times we’re not.  There are times we remember and times we don’t.  There are times when we [...]

When do we know when we are acting with compassion or caught by giving too much?

By | 2019-02-08T21:46:47-07:00 April 23rd, 2019|Categories: Compassion, Empahty, Psychological Wholeness, Self-compassion|

The key to knowing we are acting with authentic compassion is that after we finish with our compassionate act, no matter how small, we feel energized, inspired, or fed from the inside.  Often authentic compassion feels like a spiritual experience.  For me, I feel energized and excited to the point where I immediately beginning looking for another meaningful encounter to experience.  Authentic compassion brings a reflective perspective to our own lives and often puts our problems and self-pity in check—it gets us out of our own way.  It doesn’t diminish our problems as if they do not exist, but it does give us some depth to see the grave challenges and difficulties that others face. When we give our time or energy out of obligation, guilt, or the need to please others we are often left feeling taxed, tired, or overwhelmed.  We must take care of ourselves by resting when we need rest, meditating when we need to meditate, exercise when we need exercise, or getting a massage when we need a massage.  [...]

What is self-esteem? What is self-esteem vs ego esteem? Can we have too much self-esteem? Does too much self-esteem make us too self-focused and involved?

By | 2019-05-30T20:39:00-07:00 March 26th, 2019|Categories: Compassion, Psychological Wholeness, Self-compassion|

Self-esteem is the relationship we have with ourselves.  It is an inner-state of acceptance and okness about who we are—no matter what may arise.  Self-esteem is closely tied to what we believe we are worth, regardless of how much money we make or how important we are from the world’s perspective—it is our inner value.  Self-esteem is what’s left after we strip away all the houses, cars, big screen TV’s, vacations, money, power, beauty, athletic ability or whatever else. The self-talk that happens in our minds after a hardship or failure is often telling of the shape of our self-esteem.  For example, if I fail to close a new deal at work a healthy self-esteem might say something like, “Wow that’s really disappointing.  What could I have done better?  What did I do well?  Did I spend enough time preparing?  Did I have the right information?  Would it have been more effective for me to bring in Jeremy who is an expert in this area?  What can I do next time to work [...]