One day this wise Native America chief took his grandson on a walk about. He says to his grandson, “There is fight going on inside of me. It is a terrible fight between two wolves. One wolf is evil, full of anger, envy, hatred, rage, resentment, greed, and arrogance. The other is good, full of joy, peace, love, hope, kindness, empathy, generosity, and compassion. The same fight is going on inside of you and every other person.” The grandson thought about this for a few minutes and asked, “Grandfather, which wolf wins?” The chief replied thoughtfully, “The one you feed.” What if we fed compassion more deliberately? How would that change how we, as human beings, show up for each other? It is clear where and how we feed our destructive nature; a few examples are through the violence on television, in movies, and video games, as well as believing that some humans are superior over others for any reason—race, sexual preference, gender, financial success to name a few. When we believe we [...]

Pleasing or giving too much is a hindrance to compassion, it does not serve us or those we are in relationship with. It does not serve the growth of our business or the resourcefulness’ of our team. Pleasing, while it is done to avoid disharmony, is manipulation and inauthentic so in some ways, every time we please another at the expense of our authenticity, we are chipping away at our self-esteem. Now, there will be times when it’s just easier to say you’ll take the Caesar salad even though you’d rather have the turkey sandwich and that’s no big deal. It just doesn’t matter that much. But when communication is at stake or expressing an opinion where we have wisdom and insight, it is vital that we all learn to be ok with some healthy discomfort, disagreement, or conflict. When we are coming from a mindset of pleasing our motivation is to gain, appease, ensure others will like us, or to stay comfortable—that is not compassion. Compassionate communication is never a form of [...]

The key to knowing we are acting with authentic compassion is that after we finish with our compassionate act, no matter how small, we feel energized, inspired, or fed from the inside.  Often authentic compassion feels like a spiritual experience.  For me, I feel energized and excited to the point where I immediately beginning looking for another meaningful encounter to experience.  Authentic compassion brings a reflective perspective to our own lives and often puts our problems and self-pity in check—it gets us out of our own way.  It doesn’t diminish our problems as if they do not exist, but it does give us some depth to see the grave challenges and difficulties that others face. When we give our time or energy out of obligation, guilt, or the need to please others we are often left feeling taxed, tired, or overwhelmed.  We must take care of ourselves by resting when we need rest, meditating when we need to meditate, exercise when we need exercise, or getting a massage when we need a massage.  [...]